Yours jokes

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"

She pulls out a knife and fork.

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

What's the square root of your dead?

9/11.

Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.

If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?

Is that a mirror in your pocket?

'Cause I can see myself in your pants.

Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.

"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."

Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.

When someone calls you gay, say:

"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"

Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?

A: "I'm calling your parents!"