You're jokes
What is your name?
Hi, here's a joke: You're wasting your time and space, you know it... :D
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
Your hairline pushed too far back.
Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Slit your wrists.
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!