Vampire Candy Mishap

The humor comes from the classic Halloween tradition of giving candy to trick-or-treaters, specifically vampires. The person in the story completely misses that and instead attacks the vampire. The wife is shocked and points out the obvious social expectation. It's funny because of the mismatch between expectation and action.

• Vampire
• Wife
• Halloween
• Candy
• Monster
• Situation

• I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
• I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie... no one could tell that it was their blood.
• A vampire goes to the bakery. Vampire: "One bun, please." Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?" Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
• I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day... Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away... I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand... When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.