You're jokes
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!