You're jokes

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?

Nothing.

Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Society: :-) I: :') Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :') I: :'D

Does your cat scratch you?

Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.

He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.

Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!

Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!

Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I go balls deep in your mum with no power.