You're jokes

Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.

Dad: You're adopted.

Son: Where are my real parents?

Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.

The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."

Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.

I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

Jew...Rey (Ray)

Black...BB-8 (BBC)

Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)