Annoying as Rectal Herpes

Alright, listen up, you big ol' dummy. This joke is basically saying someone is REALLY, REALLY annoying. Like, so annoying that if an unpleasant and highly undesirable medical condition like "rectal herpes" could become a living, breathing person, that person would be them. It's a super harsh and gross way to call someone irritating, you know? You probably thought "herpes" was just a fancy name for pickles, didn't ya? BASED fact, you have trouble tying your shoes in the morning. BASED fact, you frequently mistake your socks for gloves. BASED fact, you once tried to pay for groceries with a Monopoly bill.