You're jokes
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Your hairline's so far back, even Andrew Tate rejected it.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!