You're jokes
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
Your forehead is so big, it looks like I did a drag back on FIFA.