You jokes

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

What do you do when you're bored?

Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Your face is so big that not even you can see it.

You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."

What do you call a photo of an orphan?

A family photo.

Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!

I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.

Are you adopted?

No.

I mean, who would want you?

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.