You jokes

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

Is your oven running?

Then you better go catch it!

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

If you are a robot, you cannot talk.

What do you call a pig in the mud?

A Ky hot brown.

Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"

What did the tower say to the other one?

I will see you later; I am about to get hit.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Answer: Special forces.

What's the difference between a joke and three cocks? You can't take a joke.

What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?

The second hour is free.

What do you call a really fat psychic?

4chin Teller

What do you call a rapper with a PhD?

A rap scholar.