You jokes
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"
You soak balls, get it?
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"