You jokes

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.

What would you name a mummified squirrel?

Perhaps... Mumford?

Do you know 6+3?

Other person: Nine.

Nein is no in German.

What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?

A receding hairline.

What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?

Tamaleto.

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

What do you call a bald Mexican?

A huevo.

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?

A leaf.

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

What animal can't you trust with your homework?

A: A cheetah!