You jokes

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"

Bee Jokes:

"Hello."

"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"

"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"

"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)

"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"

"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)

"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"

"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)

"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."

"Fan?"

"Yes, your worst fan!"

"No! Fan!"

"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"

"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)

Dear Grad Parents,

Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.

There will be more information to follow in the coming days.

Thank you.

A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

"New around here?" said the bartender.

"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

Bartender "You can talk?"

Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

"The top minds in the world," said the robot.

The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

Bartender, "What?"

"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?

"I'm stronger than you."

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"

I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄

What do you call a terrorist that can fly?

A dart.

What do you call a hung autist...

Dead.

What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?

A dildo.

"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?

Pilots, you racist fuckers!

Why can't you trust the atom? 'Cause they make up everything.

What do you call an emo dating another emo?

The suicide duo.

Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?

What do you call a 3 humped camel?

Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀

When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?

European.