You jokes
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
You should always be happy about family and love.
The glasses tho...
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.