You jokes

Do you know why an atom is positive? He kept his electrons.

Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

What do you call a sad Doge?

What?

Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.

Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because it has a silent “p.”

What time is it when you say "what?"

Time to start over!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?