You jokes
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
Memes
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?
MC Planter.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?