You jokes

You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...

How do you know when Helen Keller is home?

Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

How do you make a fruit punch?

You give it a pair of boxing gloves.

Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."