You jokes
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
What do you call my friends?...
Short.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)