You jokes
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Memes
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"