You jokes
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
You smell!
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Hey, are you bored? Kick an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a pencil with no end?..
Pointless.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.