You jokes
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Memes
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What do you call a trash bin for 9/11?
Osama Bin Laden.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.