You jokes

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?

They didn't because they ate it.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?

A barcode.

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?

He pasta-way...

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.

Your mom is so fat, that burger.

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

How do you call a very good lemonade?

Fantatastic!

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.