You jokes
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
It works, my brother has never slept better
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Q: What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A: A family picture.