You jokes
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Memes
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?
He pasta-way...
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
Your mom is so fat, that burger.