You jokes

The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?

The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.

"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

One like = more from me to you. 👊

Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.

You live in the airport.

You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!