You jokes
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”