You jokes
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."