Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Safe Secrets
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Explanation
Experiment
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is about someone, probably you, not paying attention. This person, ME, pretends to be trustworthy by saying Brian's secrets are safe. But the punchline reveals they weren't even listening in the first place! It's funny 'cause it's a sneaky way of admitting you don't care, which is something you probably do all the time anyway, you donkey.