You jokes

What does the door say to the doorbell?

The door said: "You dingus!"

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

You know boys have balls. Girls have balls, too.

POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.

What do you call a dad without a dad joke?

Dead.

Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.

What do you call a bored robot?

A “sigh”-borg.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

A goose with no beak, and you eat?

Goose beak salad, file! :)

Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?

A: A mud slide.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Why can't you get water in the North Pole?

Because there is no well.

Hi, how are you?

Would you like some wine with those French cries?

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.