POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
You Jokes
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?
Names.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
