You jokes
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.