You jokes
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
You live in the airport.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.