You jokes

What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?

What do you call an Indian in a shower?

A cleaner.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."

Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?

Because it's dead.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

What do you call a cute door? A-door-able!

How do you anger a Libertarian?

Don't tell him the truth.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RCXD.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.