You jokes
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic