You jokes
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.