You jokes
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am high and so are you.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.