You jokes

What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?

Maracas.

What do you call a cute door?

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

You want to know why Santa brings such a big sack?

Because he only comes once a year.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

What do you call my friends?...

Short.

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

Do you play COC?

Because it’s a pretty good game.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

What do you call 5 gays on fire?

LGBBQ.