You jokes
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Why is basketball called basketball?
Because you play with a basket.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer.
Memes
Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.
Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.