You jokes

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?

What do you call someone who fixes walls?

Juan, probably.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

One like = more from me to you. 👊

Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!