You jokes
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
Memes
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.