You jokes

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?

Tragic Johnson.

What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?

You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.

Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.

Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?

If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.

Why can’t you play Uno with Mexicans?

Because they steal all the green cards!

You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.

Now it's time to make fun of Asians.

What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!