You jokes

W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

How do you pet a psychopath's cat?

You get it out of the microwave.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

De-calf-inated.

You're so poor, you lick postcards for food.

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?

A baboom.

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?

He ate 12-year-old nuts.

Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?

It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"