You jokes
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.