You jokes
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
Did you know that water is wet?
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!