You jokes
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
yes
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
A: Special forces.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.