You jokes

Guy

Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

Guy 1: Like I do care :$

Guy 3: But I do care :<

Guy 1: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

Guy 2: But you do care about me.

Guy 3: No.

Guy 2: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Abuse

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

Memes

Mosquito

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

One stops sucking when you slap it.

Number

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Deer

What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you.

Orphan

What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?

Orphan: "My Parents."

Dog

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

Orphan

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Banana

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"

Son

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Theatre

Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.