You jokes

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.

Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?

Carlos!

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Are you a building?

Cuz I rate you 9/11.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

ATTENTION EVERYBODY: I am the owner of this website, and I will be deleting it in 5 hours. Thank you everybody who has participated in this website's life. Goodbye!