You jokes

So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?

It’s all Depends!

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.

Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?

Because there's too many ears.

American: How do you use a PC?

Amish: We use a potato.

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

What do you call a cow with no legs?

A cow with no legs.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America’s Funniest Home Videos.

(lol)

A boy asks his father:

"What is politics?"

Father answers:

"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

The boy says:

"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"

"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.

The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."

Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"