You jokes
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Memes
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Like if you know an orphan.
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.