You jokes
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What do you call a rapper who took a dump?
Lil' Crappie.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Random guy: Do you know Dee?
Other dude: Who’s Dee?
Random guy: Dee Snuts!
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?
BLAZE RHYMES.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
What do you call an emo group?
Suicide squad.