You jokes

Hell

Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

1. Listening to your teacher.

2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

3. Not having nicotine.

Emo kid

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

Emo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!

Memes

Friend

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

Wheelchair

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Man

What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!

Weight

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Coffin

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

Sex

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Marijuana

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Comment

If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.

Batman

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."