You jokes

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

What do you call a person with a flip flop?

My dad.

What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?

What do you mean? He doesn't have one.

So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.

So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"

What do you call a lesbian pirate?

Red Beard.

What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?

Project-childs.

(Projectiles)

How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.

What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"

Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.

Did you know that water is wet?

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.

What do you call a surprised Chinese man?

Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.