You jokes
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"