You jokes

If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.

Person:

Guy: You walk into a bar.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You meet a girl.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You guys go on a bed.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: She whispers into your ear...

Person: I'm a man!

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!

If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?

That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

What do you call lesbian twins?

Lick-A-Likes.

What do you call a skeleton snake?

A rattler!

Why is my dick like a balloon?

The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.

"Knock knock?"

"Mustache."

"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?

He won the No Bell Prize!

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?

Twilight Special.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.