You jokes
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
You want a joke? My entire existence.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
You look as fat as a pig.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
How do you get "Dick" from Richard?
Ask him nicely.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!