You jokes
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.