You jokes
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Memes
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What do you call a group of Emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD
What kind of mask are you wearing?
An Elon Musk!
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!