What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
You Jokes
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
