You jokes
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"