You jokes

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

What do you call a lazy piece of meat?

A meatloaf.

Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.

Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"

Why is it bad to climb a tree?

You might fall on an orphan! 🫥