You jokes

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.

What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.

What do you call a lazy piece of meat?

A meatloaf.

What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium.

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

What do you call a deer who is funny?

Diraleous.

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.