You jokes
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show? He's got some "sweet" moves!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!