You jokes

What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?

Screw you!

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Have you ever eaten African food?

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

Why do sisters hate you?

Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P

Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.

What do you call a Russian pharmacist?

"Ivan Astichestykov."

A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"

The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."

What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.

What do you call a pig who does karate?

Pork chop!

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

Did you?

How do you get a cow to eat?

Give it mooshrooms!

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

SPOILER ALERT...

I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow!