You jokes
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.
When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.