You jokes
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
Memes
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Why should you not let an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is. 😢