You jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Depression sucks, and so do you.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?

A: Flip the chair upside down.

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.

"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

- JFK

What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?

Hot Wheels.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?

Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?

One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.