You jokes

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Person: Why? You: No.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

What do you call a deer who is funny?

Diraleous.

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....