You jokes
Are you the twin towers?
Because I want to crash inside of you.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.