You jokes
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
Memes
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
(Bully) Boy, you ugly!
(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.