You jokes

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.

What do you call an orphan?

Homeless.

What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

What do you call a picture of an orphan?

A family portrait.

What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?

Fruit cake.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto.