You jokes
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
You want a joke? My entire existence.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.