You jokes
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.
Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.