You jokes
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.