You jokes
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.