You jokes
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
Memes
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!