You jokes
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Memes
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! ๐๐คฃ
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
Itโs a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
How is slavery different from Pokรฉmon?
The types you can have.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL