You jokes

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.

What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"

Orphan: "My family never came back for me."

School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."

How do you organize a space themed birthday party?

You planet.

You're cheap; no one even pays attention.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.

"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."

You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.